Tweeting to 1,000

I haven't written in so long that at this point it feels foreign. I mean, can you get to a place where you haven't touched your blog in such a long time that you can't even call it 'YOUR' blog anymore?
Regardless, I think I almost hit that point. So close.

Updates on my life (for anyone who cares to know):
-Currently, I am breaking it down in my kitchen to 'Helena Beat' by Foster the People while drinking an ice cold root beer and eating Gluten-Free Cheese Puffs (I am completely normal). Which leads me to my next point...
- I am now gluten-free. Yay for not being able to eat anything! The past six months have been me struggling against some weird....sickness? I wouldn't call it an 'illness' persay...but it's been crazy. But after 4 doctors and 18 some tubes of my blood, they still couldn't figure out what was wrong. Naturally, my mother and I discovered what we think it is (stupid doctors): A gluten AND lactose allergy. So goodbye all wheat, milk, eggs, cheese...moving on to greater things...like vegetables and fruits. Rough. I would hashtag at this point, but I feel weird enough doing it on Facebook that if I were to hashtag in my blog, it would be like social media suicide. Nerd status. That kind of thing. So I'll restrain.
- My greatest accomplishment lately is that I'm about to hit my 1,000th Tweet mark on Twitter. This is incredibly sad, I realize, but fortunately, I'm not ashamed.
- I also got promoted to the title of 'Team Manager' in my part-time job at Graeter's. They're paying me a whole extra dollar which, heck, in this economy I'm taking and not looking back. So what if I work an extra 100 hours a week while I'm finishing up school? It's money in MY bank. Get at me.
- Bridal Shower for my sister? Check freaking mark. It went fantastically and it didn't get awkward. Which surprised me to no end. I mean, it did for like 30 seconds, but then we were able to pull it together. Look at us in our maid-of-honor/bridesmaid roles. Rockin' it, I tell you.
- I've decided that I can't function when people type the word 'ya' in a sentence.
Example 1: "Let me know where ya got that grill! Ya need to bring it over so I can use it!"
Okay first of all...no. Second of all...it's 'YOU'. COME ON PEOPLE. Third of all...no.
Example 2: "Ya I think I'm going on that African safari."
'Ya' CANNOT be synonymous for two different words like that. 'Yes/Yeah' and 'You' are two completely different words. When you type 'ya', I'm just going to automatically assume that you are from Sweden or you're practicing how to speak Swedish.
-Only 29 days left until I am out of high school for good. I am SO ready and have been since freshman year. Come on...I can do it...only 29 days. Oh boy.

Other than that, my life is just normal. Other than the casual stuggles that I normally have which is also known as my own awkwardness...but I think casual struggles sounds better.

Song of the Day: Save Your Scissors - City and Colour
I know I post him a lot but it's only because he is FANTASTIC and he's so indie and the guitar is great. He deserves it. Props to you, Dallas.

Keep it real like Jesus, kids. Be the example. Jesus is still trying to help me on that one, too.
Arms Open Wide...

Speak Now Before Time Comes...

Wow. Wowowow.
I literally forgot how much I despise driving in the snow. Like I get all angry/frightened/partially happy that it IS actually snowing until I realize that, wait a minute....it's snowing and I'm DRIVING. And then the cycle starts all over again all while having to figure out where the stupid lines are on the road, which, just for the record, are white. And what else is white?
Freaking snow.
How do you expect me to know where the lines are if you want to just blend them in with one of the most dangerous weather tools ever?
Fools.
Fools run the world, I tell ya.
But I guess what I'm really here to talk about is...time. That sounds so simple when I type it out, but in my head it's so complex. It's one of those things that you don't realize you have it until it's gone.
As a kid, I just remember thinking how the days went on and on and ON. Other than that, I literally had no concept of time. I never once looked at a clock. Never had somewhere to be. Something to do. People to meet.
Nothing. It was just that simple.
We could do 17 different activities AND walk the dog and still have the rest of the day left to do whatever we wanted.
Now? Now I can't start my day without thinking about time. Without thinking about where I have to be. What I have to do. People I have to see. And when it all needs to get done. I feel like I'm on a deadline everyday. There's never a rest. There's never a break. There's never a chance to sit back and just LIVE. My brain is always jumping to the next task.
I've had all the time in the world to process this over my Christmas break. And I've come to the conclusion that we're moving too fast. We're missing the small things in life.
I'm getting ready to graduate this spring. How did that happen?! I feel like I was just complaining about how long it was going to take to get OUT of high school. And now I feel like I've missed out on a lot of small things.
Like for example, today I've noticed small things like how pretty the sky gets on a daily basis, how scary it is to drive in the snow at 6:30 in the morning, how little words and phrases can mean so much, how family really is a necessity, or even how a stupid glass of real apple juice can make all the difference in a day.
I've noticed that I love when I have some of my regulars come into my job. Like the lady that calls me the "Toms girl" because I wear Toms shoes all the time. And how we bond over shoes and the stupid stuff that happens to us on a regular basis.
I've noticed that I take for granted my friends. The ones who can be my 2 am when I really need to call and wake them up because something is wrong.
Or how an oatmeal creme pie can cure any "sickness". Seriously, those things are to die for [Ohmygosh I made a pun. Hahahaha. How funny am I? Oh boy...]
Or even how once you give up something that you've been holding on to for so long and start to move on, you feel FREE. A freedom that comes from Jesus. The One and Only. My God.
It's these little things that have been tugging at my heart strings lately and I can't bear to let another day go by without noticing them or "stopping to smell the roses", per-say.
I could go on and on about all the little things that I've noticed lately and how they bring joy to my face. It's incredible the way that I've learned to find the joy in the life that God has given me. I'm learning not to be cynical or pessimistic or downtrodden. But I'm also learning to be happy and joyful and thankful and grateful and optimistic and to just jam in the car to that song that makes me feel invincible.
And one person who's really inspired me lately (I hate to play the celebrity card, but I have to) is Taylor Swift. Getting back into her music has been one of the greatest things that has happened to me this break. She's taught me not to look at life with a sour face. To indulge in the joys. And to not wait... to just speak now.
And I find it funny that I just went up to reread my opening paragraph and found it to be partially pessimistic. Still working on that. And Jesus is still working on me.
Hardcore.

Song of the Day: Speak Now -- Taylor Swift
I'm all about some Tay lately like I just told you. And I'm all about speaking now. Which I'm gonna have to work on. Oh geez. Dang I can forreal jam to this song when I want to....except I like the Live version better. Which they don't have on Youtube. Goshdangit. Thinking positively, thinking positively...

Arms Open Wide...

A Mark, A Mission, A Craving

Why I didn't think to do this before is beyond me. I've been up since 3am listening to the rain and laying in bed. About 4 hours before that, you could've found me doing the same thing...sans the rain. Why you may ask? Now some people might have a perfectly legitimate reason for just laying in bed like that for hours on end or they might just have some great philosophical reason.
But I don't.
I simply can. not. sleep.
I don't think I've ever had this much trouble except for when I was little and knew that Christmas was the next morning. OH how I wouldn't be able to sleep even if I tried!
That's me now.
But I really think the reason that I can't sleep is because I'm so excited to spend more time with Jesus. I've made a lot of changes in my life lately and one of them has been striving to get closer to the Father and his Kingdom and who He is and what he has for my life. And as I've done that, I've come to realize that I can't WAIT for the next opportunity to meet with Jesus.
I mean, sure, I'd heard people say that when you get to know Jesus you crave more time with Him.
Honestly? At times, I didn't think that could be true.
But let me tell you. I'm completely amazed. Amazed at how my heart yearns for Him. Amazed at how memorizing Scripture gets me excited when it used to be a chore. Amazed at how He forgives a sinner like me time and time again and still LONGS for a relationship with me. Amazed at what He teaches me when I crack open that thousand year old book. Amazed at how MUCH I have to learn.
When you make Jesus a serious priority, he becomes just that and your life changes immensely. I'm constantly in awe of the things He teaches me and how He uses me, a regular girl, in everyday life. Jesus has left his mark on me. He's given me a mission. And I'm craving to find out what all of that is.

Song of the Day: "God is Able -- Hillsong Live" Really digest the words. They're something else.

Arms Open Wide...

Struglife n. Definition: To struggle. In life. But to not really struggle. Just to over exaggerate that you struggle.

There are two things in life, besides Jesus, that I absolutely enjoy:
1. Photography
2. Music

1. Let's address photography. You have to be born with an eye for it. This isn't something that you can just wake up one day and do. You have to be able to see these things. Capture them in your mind. Create stories by an image.
Example:

This is a photo I found online of a bunch of people at Calvary Chapel in Corvallis, Oregon worshipping God with everything that they have. Look at the expression in the photo. That's gorgeous to capture God at work through a photo. It's almost like snapping a picture of God himself. These are his people.

Example 2:

Okay...WHAT. Obviously this is from National Geographic but you can't tell me that isn't pure beauty captured on a camera. You've got to have God's eye.
I hope one day my eye becomes just like that. Capturing images for the sake of the Father. To spread his beauty and love through photography.

2. Music. There's a certain fulfillment in listening to a perfect piece of music whether it be classical or hip-hop. For me, I prefer Indie/Indie-Alternative. I feel a little more vintage-y, edgy when I hear that. HA. Call me a hipster. Or like someone called me the other day, an "Old Soul".
Translation?
70's Hippie Wannabe with a Vintage-y feel.
I'm not complaining.
But anyway so I'd just like to share a few of my most prized songs with you.

Claustrophobe - Katie Todd Band

Bluesy Floozie - Tommy and the High Pilots
GET IT SONS.
Go hard or go home.

Sleeping Sickness -- City and Colour
Legitimately anything by Dallas is awesome. He just knows how to hear the music.

Skinny Love - Bon Iver
Cool name. Sweet song. Better voice.
What could be greater?

Best Music Video Award Goes To: OK GO
"A Million Ways"
Classic. So hilarious. They make this seem like an everyday activity. I'm still trying to figure out if it was them that choreographed this.
No...it couldn't be...

OH One more!
You Are - The Punch Brothers
Just give your ear a precious listen. I feel intelligent when I listen to this. Or possibly vintage. Maybe it's that one. Hipster. All those words people call me...that's what I feel when I listen to it.

Dude. I feel like it's a struggle to be serious while blogging. Okay. Making a pact now. Never being serious on a blog again unless I'm blogging about Jesus.
I mean. Technically i blogged about Jesus today but I don't think that counts. Cause it wasn't like ABOUT-about Him.
Struggle.
Strugtown.
Strugcity.
Struglife.

I figure I don't need to do a song of the day considering I just gave you, what, like 5 and a half?
Hmm. Let's round that off to 6. I still don't think that's correct. But screw it. I don't feel like going back to check.
It's not important anyhow and yet I still wrote a whole paragraph.

Okay I've GOT to stop blogging and actually get ready for work and finish that thing called homework. Oh and eat. Yeah. Guess I've got to replenish myself.
I'll get right on that.
This whole blog today was fluff.
Fail.

Arms Open Wide...

Change Is Gonna Come

AH. How great it is to be back! Although it's been months, it feels like years and SO much has happened.
But to spare you all, I'm going to make it relatively short because:
1. I just have a little bit to say.
2. You guys don't want to have to read a blog for 45 minutes.
3. I should probably start getting ready for church.

I've started my Senior year and I have never been more ready to be done. I know people are all "Enjoy your Senior year! Live it up!" But....
I'm struggling to abide by those rules.
Jesus also pulled a fast one on me not 3 days into my Senior year by telling me that my beloved youth pastor would be leaving the church. Why he decided to do that, I think I know but I don't think I'll ever FULLY know.
When I first heard the news, you can bet your mother's horses that I was in an absolute state. For days actually. But Jesus worked on my heart over those days and got me to a place, through people such as Alton, Amy, and my mother, that I was able to let go of my sadness and accept the joy in the situation. Alton will be moving to a baby church where he will get to help create a youth ministry because they don't have one. If they need a key part of church that Alton can help with, why should we be selfish and keep him for ourselves?
I've realized that I will still see him and his family at school functions and when I come over to their house.
He's never out of my life and neither is the Living God, who, through this, brought me back and closer to His heart than ever before.
Arms Open Wide...

Song of the Day: Hey Mama - Mat Kearney
Such a fun and upbeat song. I typically listen to it on my way to work when I don't wanna go and it get s me pumped up for my shift at least a little bit.
As much as you can get pumped up for scooping ice cream for the public. Please.

PS Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/#!/absbarge

Welcome to Ohio

I'm obsessed with my camera. Like 'when-I'm-at-a-stop-sign-I-whip-out-my-camera-and-snap-stories-of-the-storm-brewing' kind of obsessed. Which yes, I happened to do today.
It was supposed to storm right as soon as I got out of school. AKA this picture I took.

After 30 minutes of driving back and forth deciding whether I should listen to the radio people who said 'TORNADO WATCH UNTIL 9PM' or just go on and drive to my internship, I decided to brave it. Good thing cause this is what ended up happening:

Welcome to Ohio, people.
Land of the Bi-Polar, Schitzophrenic, Unkown Weather.
PS Photo cred of the blue sky does not go to me. It goes to some random dude named Paul I think. So kudos to you, Paul.

In other news:
-I dropped ice cream on my cat yesterday. Yes. I dropped VANILLA ice cream on him. BAHA. Oooops.
This is Smokey. Who we sometimes call Tom, Biscuit, Mr. President, Buddy, Smokes....whatever smokes our pipe that day.



Sorry buddy. You made me lose a piece of precious ice cream.

-I realized that while I'm watching AFV and they start playing the roll of a million people falling off of diving boards, I get really annoyed and amused all at the same time. Why? Because there's just this broken record of 'OHHH!!' 'Auhhh!' 'ooooooo!' in the background. And it's quite repetitive [broken record] because it happens one right after the other. It's like the crowd has never seen someone fall of a diving board and crack their head open.
Come on people. You just saw it happen TWO seconds ago. How is this man cracking his head open different from that boy splitting his chin open? It doesn't take much to please the crowd.

-I get to spend hardcore time with Jesus this weekend at the Revolve Tour conference. :] I'm definitely looking forward to that cause I have missed Him so much. I feel distant from Him sometimes and I'm striving to get back to where I was. I MISS YOU JESUS. AND I'M COMING BACK TO YOU.
Love, Your Daughter/Servant.

Arms Open Wide...
PS Pretty sure I just heard thunder.. #Herewegoagain
PPS Song of the Day: Let's Kill Tonight -- Painc! At the Disco
Their new CD is sooooo baller! In love in love in love. Thank you so much P!ATD. I have a higher level of respect for you now.

Goodness Gracious, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!

So sorry for the delay. It's literally been like 2 months since my last post. And wow, so much has happened.
At least....so I think.
Starting with:
1. I officially lost the 'Non-Awkward Week' Competition to Naomi. And how did I lose this, you may ask?
While at the Xavier basketball game, I accidentally chucked a piece of ice on the couple in front of me. And it took them a good 30 seconds to get up the nerve to turn around and awkwardly chuckle at me at which I meekly replyed '...Sorry...". By that time, they should've just stayed facing forward because too much time had elapsed and it would've been an awkward time to acknowledge my clumsiness.
But yet, I guess they kind of helped me lose. So thank you, Xavier couple, for helping me lose the Non-Awkward Week. And that was on a Saturday. I was SO DARN CLOSE.
I'm glad you got that ice thrown on you.
2. I seem to make it a habit of losing. I lost the competition I had with my friend Sanjay the other day. Competition: Who can deliver the highest high five? When he extended his arm into the air I knew I was done for. Dang that boy has a giant arm span. Nevertheless, I went for it. And we decided to do a running high five. Which we both promptly lost. Why? Because we missed each other's hand every single time. Seriously. We suck.
So I ended up owing him a milkshake in exchange for losing.
It flocks to me.
3. I was told that I use the word 'BALLER' too much. But come on....who WOULDN'T want to use the word 'baller' to describe something? It's like partially 'street'/ghetto/80's. It just excites me. As I watch Top Gun, I feel as if they should be describing their ride as 'baller'.
"Man! Jester's dead! That ride was baller!"
"Maverick! That was a baller shot!"
"That's a baller missle!"
See what I mean? It just makes everything a little bit more exciting. How baller.
4. I just found out about so many new artists and new cds-- it's crazy. Ra Ra Riot, Twenty One Pilots, Dance Gavin Dance, the new Alexi Murdoch, Wye Oak, Elbow...the works. I'll be sure to let you guys sample one as always.
5. DANG. HOLLYWOOD'S BEEN HIT. And I'm not talking about the city. Whew. This Top Gun business is getting to me. There he goes.....
6. Dad left for Germany 2 weeks ago. He's there for 3 months, mas o menos (Spanish translation: more or less). It just now hit me how gone he is. Like he's gone, gone. Like in GERMANY gone. I don't get to see him till late May. Sadness. But you know. It's not only Summer I've got to look forward to now. :]
7. I realized I have an addiction to Facebook. Wait. I knew that a long time ago...and pretty sure you all did too.
8. GUESS WHO'S HITTIN' UP THE DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL CONCERT MARCH 30th? This girl. Seeing him for the second time. Gosh, do I love him.
9. Dawn (stepmom) had to put down one of our dogs, Samantha, last week. We've all taken it pretty well. But we're fostering a greyhound in about a week and a half. Already have her picked out.
Nothing like jumping right back into the game with a little 'umpf'.
10.I am now in LOVE with taking pictures. I got a new camera for my birthday and now I'm obsessed with it.
11. Oh yeah. I had my birthday. I've now hit the big 1-7. I'm bookin' it now.
12. Also discovered: my crowd from the Vineyard goes to the Steak & Shake nearest the Vineyard so often, that we have the same waitress everytime and she knows us. Like we pick up where we left off on our conversation. Pretty sure I could invite her to my next birthday party and it wouldn't be awkward.

Jesus Epiphany:
I was in the shower [I always do my best thinking in the shower] and Jesus revealed to me that we can't 'play' God. We can't just come back to Him when it's convenient for us. We've got to be CONSISTENT. Not CONVENIENT. It was quite a large epiphany for me because He compared himself to earthly relationships, which was interesting. Just like how we can't 'play' other people in relationships, we can't play God. He's worthy of SO much more. He wants everything of us. EVERYTHING. So give it to Him. Don't jip Him of you. He made you and wants to spend quality time with YOU. You you you. You won't get a better offer than the Creator of the Universe. Let Him know that too.

So that's what's been going on. I'm sure I'm missing something, but it's not like I can't just write more in a different post, right?

Song of the Day: Car Radio -- Twenty One Pilots

They aren't well known, but, boy are they BALLER. I think they're local to where I live, but since I'm smart I won't tell you where I live. Don't quite want you stalking me. You guys may think the lead singer is just talking. Okay fine. But I think it's so cooooool. It's got this awesome beat/rhythm/tone that I just love. I drive to it quite often.



Arms Wide Open <3